Taven is 3 months old!! He’s growing and changing so much every day, it seems like time is just flying by!
This month his reflux really ramped up. We had him on medicine for it, but after a month he still continued to cry a lot after feedings and seemed to be in a lot of pain. So, the doctor gave him something a little stronger. So far it’s not made much of a difference, but the doctor said it could take some time for it to really take affect.
We’re not really on a schedule yet with him. I think that’s mostly in part to his reflux though. He just seems so uncomfortable after he eats that he doesn’t want to lay down or be held in the cradle position. So we have to let him sit up for a while and then he still seems to be uncomfortable when it’s time to nap and sleep at night too.
Naps are pretty rough right now. He wakes up at EXACTLY 30 minutes every single time. Other than his reflux though, he does seem generally happy the rest of the day. But let’s hope naps get a little better! Haha Once he’s down for the night he sleeps pretty good! About 4-6 hour stretches usually. So that’s nice! It can easily take us 2 hours to get him to sleep though! Which can be draining, but I’m also trying to soak up all the cuddles, because I know this season is short.
He found his hands this month and LOVES to suck on them!! He’s grabbed a toy a time or two too and gets so upset when he can’t grab onto one and hold it. haha It’s so cute to see him try so hard! He has really started to love being on the activity mat and looking up at the toys and trying to grab them. We just have to find the right time when his reflux isn’t too bad for him to lay flat.
He’s not a huge fan of tummy time yet, but we’re REALLY working on it! This month Taven had to start physical therapy for torticollis and plagiocephaly. Torticollis is when the neck muscles are too tight in one area and not strong enough in another and it causes babies to not be able to turn their heads to both sides. So he favors one side a lot and it’s caused a flat spot on his head (plagiocephaly). I’m hoping physical therapy will help though! They’ve given us exercises and positional holds to do with him and tell us to really encourage tummy time.
He loves being in the baby carrier. First he preferred the Ergobaby, but lately he’s been much happier in the Solly Baby Wrap Forrest and Shelby got us. He just cuddles in and takes a nap and it’s so sweet!
He can be really expressive! I love seeing his expressions at new sounds and sights. He loves to laugh too! And I love to hear it!
He’s not as jumpy anymore at sounds when he’s sleeping, but he’s definitely not ready to be unswaddled for sleeping yet. I dread that day. I’ve tried it once and it did not go well! Torin transitioned out of a swaddle really easily. I think it took just 2 night time sleeps for him to sleep good with his arms unswaddled, but I think Taven will take a little more time.
He also quit the pacifier this month! I was beginning to wonder if it’d be difficult to wean him off of it in the future, but then all of a sudden he just started refusing it. It’s made sleep time a little less peaceful, but overall I’m thankful for it. I know I could try another brand, but honestly, I’d rather just go ahead and get rid of them now. haha!
Normally I wouldn’t share this next part, but I’m going to and I’ll explain why too. This month I ended up talking to my doctor about postpartum depression and anxiety. Turns out, I have postpartum anxiety. This month has been difficult, I won’t lie. For a lot of different reasons, many of which have nothing to do with being a mother, but more about how this year has been. Life has just seemed a little overwhelming at times. And you know what? That’s ok. So, for me some of it is situational and some of it is postpartum hormones. It took me a while to reach out to my doctor though because I thought, “ah, it’ll get better. I just need more sleep. I just need to eat healthier and on time instead of 3 hours later.” However, I’d get more sleep or eat better and the anxiety wouldn’t go away. Eventually I realized I needed to reach out for help. I just kept telling Usbec that I didn’t feel sad or depressed, but I just didn’t feel like myself. I felt overwhelmed, obsessed with having a clean house, physically sick over not having time to get work things done, and just frustrated all the time. Frustrated that COVID is still happening, frustrated every time I heard something about the election, frustrated that I couldn’t get more sleep at night, frustrated when someone drove too slow in front of me, frustrated at all the things. And that’s not me. I’m generally a pretty happy person and can continue on pretty easily when things get a little tough, but this was different. So I reached out for help. And I wanted to share that here because I started feeling this way when I was pregnant (which can happen even though it’s called postpartum depression and anxiety). But it took me several MONTHS to reach out for help because I felt ashamed. I felt like I should be able to handle things on my own. I felt like I should be able to just get myself in a better mood. My mom always used to say when we were little, “well you can just get glad in the same pants you got mad in!” haha But that wasn’t happening for me. And I finally realized, it’s ok. It’s ok to take care of yourself. Taking care of yourself IS taking care of your babies. Since getting help, I’ve talked to SO MANY other moms who felt the same way at one point and we all had the same question – “why do people not talk more about this?? Why is mental health something that you aren’t supposed to talk about? So, this is me sharing that I’ve been struggling and I got help for it. I’m still a work in progress, but I’m hopeful I’ll start to feel better soon. Whether you wonder if you have postpartum anxiety or depression or whether this year has just seemed too much for you. Reach out to someone. There’s no shame in it and I promise you, there are so many more people than you realize who are in therapy or on medications. I’m also seeing a physical therapist for postpartum issues and she told me about 80% of her patients are either in therapy or on medication for mood / mental disorders. EIGHTY PERCENT!! Reach out to someone if you think you might need some help. 🙂
November 5, 2020